


I’ve waited for my whole life (let’s go for it this time)

by dj jiggle juice (therestisconfetti)



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 08:27:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16404854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therestisconfetti/pseuds/dj%20jiggle%20juice
Summary: instances in which chloe and beca kiss too much and talk too little





	I’ve waited for my whole life (let’s go for it this time)

**Author's Note:**

> this originally was intended to be a 3-4k fic...here we are. oops.

**i.**

Beca still isn’t all too sure about being a Bella when she escapes to the quietest area of whatever house she’s been dragged to for the night.

Stacie’s flirting with at least three people at the same time, Cynthia Rose and Denise are getting a little too touchy-feely for Beca’s comfort, and Fat Amy has challenged at least five different Trebles to a drink off.

Beca also isn’t sure why she keeps agreeing to go to parties with these girls.

Okay, that one’s not exactly a mystery: it’s Chloe Beale being so god damn persistent and somehow spending more time with Beca than she realizes.

(“Come on Beca, you _have_ to come!” Chloe says as they walk across campus together, Chloe walking to her class and Beca walking to the radio station.

“No I don’t,” Beca tries.

“It won’t be the same without you!”

She snorts, but Chloe pulls that puppy pout, and Beca’s beginning to find it to be really difficult to say no to that.

“Fine,” she grumbles. “I’ll come to the stupid party.”

Chloe squeals.

Beca scowls.)

Speaking of, the senior bounds into view a moment later, two red solo cups in her hand. She offers one to Beca with a big, lopsided grin.

Beca swears she only takes it to be nice.

“Why are you being so anti-social?” Chloe teases, taking a seat next to Beca despite not being invited to do so.

Beca’s learned Chloe doesn’t take social cues very well - either that or she does and still does whatever she wants, Beca can’t quite tell.

“Anti-social is part of my personality, Beale,” Beca informs her, tipping the drink into her mouth. She makes a face. “Ew, is this tequila?”

Chloe only winks as she takes a sip of her own.

Beca’s noticed Chloe winks a lot.

“Come on, we need to finish our game!” Chloe reminds her.

Beca groans, well aware that she’s a little too sober for this amount of Chloe Beale right now.

(Chloe had found her in this very spot about an hour earlier. She pouted about Beca being a “debby downer” and insisted she join in the festivities with everyone else.

Beca refused.

Chloe decided to make it her personal mission to entertain Beca.)

Beca’s come to realize she doesn’t really mind Chloe Beale, really - especially if she’s with Chloe in doses – but Chloe’s decided to do a game of truth or dare, one where there are no dares but only truths and then Chloe bullies Beca into answering. Beca really doesn’t know how much more she can handle.

Chloe has no problems answering any of Beca’s questions.

Beca is finding it harder and harder to keep her walls up around the senior.

“I was hoping you’d forgotten,” Beca admits with a frown.

Chloe grins. “Not at all. I’m not wasted, you know.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Beca jokes.

Chloe shoves her playfully with her shoulder and Beca lets out a quiet chuckle.

“Fine, let’s keep playing your stupid game.”

Chloe’s face lights up at the way Beca entertains her game, entertains _her_ really. Beca hides a small smile behind her cup.

And it’s fine, really.

“Have you ever kissed a girl?”

Until that.

Beca almost chokes on her drink, coughing just a little as she looks at Chloe. Chloe is looking at her expectantly, waiting for an answer. Beca finds nothing besides curiosity behind the expectancy, and Beca isn’t quite sure what she’s gotten herself into.

“Uh, no.”

Chloe nods at the answer, taking a long sip of her own drink.

Beca knows it’s her turn now, but she can’t think of anything else besides, “Have you?”

“Kissed a girl?”

Beca nods.

“Oh yeah,” Chloe nods confidently. “Totes.”

“Oh,” Beca says. “Uh, cool. I guess.”

There’s a beat and then, “Have you ever wanted to?”

“To what?” Beca asks, but she thinks she already knows what Chloe means.

She doesn’t understand why she’s suddenly nervous, why Chloe has a knack for making her so nervous in the spur of a moment.

“Kiss a girl,” Chloe clarifies, eyes big and curious again.

Beca pauses, looking into her cup. She could easily lie, could say no or clarify that she’s not looking for that at all right now or that she’s never really thought about it.

She knows she can say all these things and that Chloe would probably – hopefully – move on, but what comes out is, “I mean, doesn’t everyone?”

She doesn’t answer the question, not directly, but Chloe takes it as it is and nods.

“Yeah,” Chloe decides, tilting her head before she takes another sip. “That counted as your question, by the way.”

Beca frowns. “Not fair.”

“So fair.”

“Whatever.”

Chloe only grins before she downs the rest of her drink.

Beca rolls her eyes and forces herself to drink more of the tequila concoction Chloe gave her.

“Then why don’t you kiss a girl?”

“Wh- I don’t know,” Beca stutters, unsure why Chloe won’t let it go. “I don’t go around kissing people, you know.”

Chloe shrugs. “You totally could.”

“You’re insane,” Beca scoffs. “Do you know that?”

“I’ve been told,” Chloe cheekily answers before adding, “That also counted as a question.”

Beca groans.

“Would you kiss me?”

At this, Beca’s eyes widen. “I…uh…”

She isn’t sure how to answer. It’s not like she’s ever thought about kissing Chloe, not really – aside from aca-initiation when Chloe pulled her so close that Beca was convinced Chloe was bound to kiss her – but looking at Chloe, eyes flickering down to her lips, Beca can’t help but-

“Need an answer, Becs.”

The way the nickname rolls so effortlessly off Chloe’s tongue has Beca’s cheeks flush just a little. Chloe’s leaning into her slightly and it’s enough to have Beca unable to focus on much else besides the way Chloe feels and looks and smells.

“Yeah,” she barely manages to say.

Chloe gives a small nod at the answer, eyes shifting from curiosity to something else, something Beca can’t quite decipher. All Beca knows is that the music that’s blasting around the house is beginning to fade and all she can focus on is Chloe and how her lips look nice and how her eyes are so vibrantly blue.

Chloe leans in closer and Beca finds herself leaning in too, unable to help whatever damn spell Chloe’s got on her. Chloe tilts her head just a little, sensing the way Beca is unsure of what to do, letting their lips fit together like puzzle pieces.

It’s not like fireworks go off or that Beca feels something spectacular.

But she’d be a liar if she said kissing Chloe didn’t feel like something she wants to do again.

Chloe’s lips are soft and taste like the drink she’s having mixed with strawberry chapstick. Her kiss is gentle and patient, waiting for Beca to react. And react Beca does. She reciprocates, albeit hesitantly, to the way Chloe’s lips feel against hers.

The sounds of the party are completely drowned out now because all Beca can hear is the beating of her heart in her ear drums.

Chloe pulls away slowly, almost in an agonizing manner. Beca stays frozen for a moment, unable to wrap her mind around what just happened.

She thinks that Chloe’s a good kisser.

She thinks she’d want to kiss Chloe again sometime.

But this is a lot, and Beca still isn’t quite sure what she signed up for.

(Whether she’s thinking about the Bellas or being friends with Chloe Beale, she’s unsure about both.)

Chloe lets out a soft hum of satisfaction, and Beca waits for her to say something, but Aubrey’s voice breaks their little moment.

“Chloe, _there_ you are!”

They both whip their heads to find Aubrey with Fat Amy trailing behind her.

Beca subtly scoots away from Chloe, immediately eyeing the remnants of her cup as they approach.

“Beca was being antisocial,” Chloe says matter-of-factly to Aubrey.

“Well Beca _chooses_ to do that,” Aubrey responds, giving a pointed look to Beca.

Beca only smirks at her before taking a long sip.

“Come on, Tom’s looking for you.”

Something about the mention of a guy looking for Chloe makes Beca’s smirk falter just a little. She watches Chloe carefully, watches the recognition reach her face as she immediately stands up.

Beca doesn’t really like Tom, whoever the fuck he is.

“Come on Beca,” Fat Amy says, pulling her up without much effort.

Beca grumbles and asks Amy to take her to get another drink.

Chloe lets Aubrey take her wrist and guide her back to the party, but not without flashing Beca a smile over her shoulder.

Beca downs the rest of her drink in one go.

 

* * *

 

(Chloe doesn’t mention anything about the kiss the next day at rehearsal.

So Beca doesn’t either.

It doesn’t become a thing.)

 

* * *

 

**ii.**

Beca _says_ she thinks Bella Bonding Nights are stupid.

(Which, they are, kind of.)

But every single one of the Bellas knows she doesn’t mean it, knows she likes spending time with them and that spending at least one night every couple of weeks with her Bellas, with no concerns of rehearsals or competitions and just being together, is one of Beca’s favorite things.

They think she’s going soft.

Beca blames Chloe.

Chloe, who should’ve graduated last year but is still around and helped pull some strings to get a Bella house.

Chloe, who has undoubtedly become Beca’s best friend, her right hand, her co-captain.

Chloe, who started these Bella Bonding Nights in the first place.

And now, sitting here in a room full of girls, Beca truly thinks Bella Bonding Nights are stupid.

Everyone’s eyes are on her. Well, they’re either on her or on Stacie, who looks at Beca with a knowing smirk. Stacie’s always known exactly how to push Beca’s buttons, how to make her uncomfortable or how to make her blush with a simple gesture or word.

Beca kind of hates her right now.

“What? Are you serious?” she asks in disbelief.

After two rom-coms and a few more bottles of wine than originally intended, Jessica and Ashley had somewhat jokingly suggested they play truth or get to “get to know each other better.” Beca had snorted and shook her head, but Stacie decided to run with it, forcing every Bella to play – Beca included.

And it had been mild enough, just a few embarrassing stories and some somewhat mild dares – mild being compared to what Beca knows Stacie and Fat Amy could come up with instead.

Beca had picked truth every time, not really in the mood to play into Stacie’s little traps.

But again: Stacie knows how to push the right buttons and with a little push, Beca had chosen dare.

Stacie nods firmly. “A dare’s a dare, Beca, and I dare you to kiss Chloe for a full ten seconds.”

Beca then looks from Stacie to Chloe. Chloe’s sitting on the couch next to Ashley and Jessica, curiosity in her expression and head tilted as she looks at Beca. She doesn’t seem fazed at all by Stacie’s ridiculous dare, but then again Chloe’s hardly ever fazed by anything.

“You don’t have to,” Chloe says, and Beca knows she means it because of the genuine comfort in her voice.

The more time Beca spends with Chloe, the more she finds that Chloe is somehow able to understand what Beca needs despite her uninterested, “too cool” demeanor.

“Yeah,” Stacie echoes, calling back Beca’s attention. “I mean, you could just be a baby about it.”

“Stacie,” Chloe chastises.

“I’m just saying,” Stacie shrugs, but the twist of her lips says otherwise.

Beca knows Stacie – and most of the girls, really – thrive off of poking fun at her. She knows it’s a fun pass time and that when it really counts they don’t actually mean it, but Stacie’s being a little too annoying for how much alcohol has been consumed.

“Seriously Beca, if you don’t want to-” Chloe starts, but Beca firmly shakes her head.

“No,” she says, finally speaking up. “It’s whatever. I’ll do it.”

Beca avoids looking at Chloe, avoids seeing her reaction. She instead looks at Stacie who has that mischievous smile on her lips. She misses the way Cynthia Rose and Fat Amy not-so-subtly nudge each other at Beca’s acceptance. She feels the heavy eyes of every other Bella watching her carefully, somewhat surprised at her willingness because Beca has a boyfriend and really, she’s never been into things like this.

She isn’t sure if it’s because wine drunk is a twisted kind of drunk that’s pleasant, but can definitely fuck you over or if it’s the fact Stacie is so god damn annoying and definitely _won’t_ let this go if she tries to back out of it. Either way, Beca’s mind is made up.

“Are you sure?” Chloe asks, her voice uncharacteristically hesitant.

“Go on then, Bec,” Stacie says at the same time.

Beca does a big show of rolling her eyes at Stacie before she gets up and walks over to Chloe, filling in the space between her legs.

Chloe is still looking at her unsure and maybe somewhat worried.

“It’s fine,” she murmurs. “It’s…”

 _-not the first time,_ she wants to say, but that’s out of place for this moment and they both know it.

The redhead seems to understand what she says though – why Beca trails off – because she doesn’t ask again. Instead she just looks at Beca softly, letting her take control of the situation.

“It’s only ten seconds,” Beca adds, more for herself than Chloe.

“Okay,” Chloe whispers.

Beca feels the pace of her heartbeat quicken because she’s standing right in front of Chloe, so close that she can watch the way her chest rises and falls. She thinks back to that night her freshman year, when Chloe kissed her and left Beca wanting more.

Things are different now: Beca has a boyfriend now.

It’s just a dare.

Beca’s hand comes up to hold Chloe’s chin in place before she leans in slowly, pressing her lips gently against Chloe’s. Chloe’s lips are soft and this time they taste like wine instead of tequila, but Beca’s knees almost buckle at the feeling of Chloe kissing her back.

She almost loses herself in the kiss, almost reaches out with her other hand to tug Chloe closer, to have her pressed up against her, but she focuses. She counts to ten in her head, dreading every second that passes.

It should concern her that kissing Chloe as simple and innocently as this is almost better than kissing Jesse.

Jesse, her boyfriend.

When she reaches the ten mark in her head, Beca pulls away from Chloe slowly, reminding herself what it’s like to breathe as she does so. Chloe’s eyes are still closed when Beca opens hers, and the sight – eyes closed and lips slightly parting – is something Beca wants to remember in the back of her mind.

Chloe’s eyes are fluttering open when Stacie’s voice breaks the deafening silence.

“See, that wasn’t bad, was it?”

Beca drops her hand from Chloe’s chin and gives Stacie a look.

“You’re annoying,” she deadpans, walking back to her seat.

Beca can feel Chloe’s eyes on her, but she forces herself to look anywhere but at the redhead. She knows she might say something stupid if she meets her gaze, knows that sometimes she finds it hard to filter herself when she’s around Chloe and her bright eyes and soft smile.

Instead, Beca focuses her attention on the leggy brunette.

“Truth or Dare, Conrad?” Beca asks.

Stacie smirks. “Dare all the way.”

 

* * *

 

(No one brings up the kiss after that, not even Stacie.

Beca sees Jesse the next day and tries not to think about how kissing Jesse is different than kissing Chloe.)

 

* * *

 

**iii.**

It’s spring in New York, but Beca knows that Chloe hardly cares about that. Chloe cares about the ICCA Championship two days away. She knows Chloe knows that if they can win again, a third title in a row, that the a capella world will reward them. It won’t be “just another title.” It’ll be performances at real places – rumor has it the Kennedy Center is in the mix – and maybe even a victory tour this time.

But none of these things matter in the moment because there’s a guy who won’t leave her alone at this record store Chloe just _had_ to walk in to, and Chloe disappeared almost as soon as they walked in with eyes bright and childlike.

She tries to look past the guy once again without making it blatantly obvious she’s looking for a way out, that she’s trying to find Chloe so she can give her that SOS look and they can get the hell out of here, but the redhead is nowhere to be found.

God dammit, Chloe.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t drop money on a classic Pink Floyd vinyl?”

Beca makes a face at him then, suddenly reminded that they’re supposed to be engaged in conversation.

“Pink Floyd’s just not my type,” she tells him, trying to keep the irritation in her voice to a minimum.

He quirks an eyebrow and his lip up in an amused manner, and maybe Beca would find it cute if she wasn’t actively trying to search for her best friend.

(That, and her boyfriend is somewhere in this city with the Trebles, too.

They’re on a break, though. So, Beca doesn’t care all that much.)

“So what is your type?”

It’s cheeky and somewhat smooth, and really Beca should’ve worded her response better to avoid this, but Beca just _isn’t interested._

Beca feels someone grab her wrist and for a split second, she panics and thinks about letting out a yelp. Except the soft tug on her wrist and the softness of the skin makes her think otherwise. She recognizes it as Chloe, but she can’t even open her mouth to ask her where the hell she’s been because Chloe uses her wrist to spin her around and promptly tugs her close before pressing a soft kiss against Beca’s lips.

Beca would like to think that in any other situation, she would immediately question what the hell is going on.

Instead, she’s frozen in place. Chloe’s lips are soft as they’ve always been, and she leans into Beca more as she lengthens the kiss. Beca’s head is spinning because Chloe is kissing her out in the open in the middle of this record store as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

She thinks this could be one of the sweetest kisses she’s ever received.

Chloe pulls away only a moment later, not letting the kiss last for long. Beca misses the taste of her already, hates the adorably attractive way Chloe flutters her eyes open and regards Beca with a hint of a smile in her eyes and on her lips.

“Hi babe,” Chloe says in a somewhat soft voice. “Sorry, I got a little lost.”

Beca blinks, convinced she’s in some parallel universe because she’s not sure what’s going on or when Chloe started calling her _babe._

“I was looking for you,” Beca tells her dumbly, unsure of what else to say at this point.

Chloe grins, a soft giggle falling from her lips. “Sorry,” she repeats, leaning forward to press a kiss to Beca’s forehead.

Beca can feel herself starting to blush and she hates it, hates that this is happening and she doesn’t even know why.

Chloe then spins, tilting her head curiously. “Hi,” she says in her typical bubbly voice. “Do you work here? I’ve been looking for a vinyl that I just _have_ to get my hands on. It’s for my girlfriend here.”

Beca blinks eyes, trying to stop her eyes from widening, because Chloe just called her _what?_ She also remembers in this moment that someone else had been talking to her before Chloe appeared out of seemingly nowhere. It’s now that she turns to face him, taking in his surprised and somewhat embarrassed expression.

“Uh n-no,” he stutters, a mixture of surprised and intimidated by none other than Chloe Beale. He jerks his thumb towards the door. “I’m just gonna…”

The guy takes two steps back from completely turning his back on the two of them and walking out the door. Chloe brings Beca’s attention back to her as she lets out a soft laugh and finally drops the brunette’s wrist.

“He looked like he was bothering you,” Chloe explains, tugging a hair tie off of her wrist and pulling her hair up into a ponytail. “I figured I should help.”

Beca furrows her brows for a moment, trying to figure out how Chloe’s logic told her that the most reasonable thing to do in the situation was to kiss her and pretend to be her girlfriend.

“Oh,” she mumbles.

Then again, Chloe Beale is sometimes her own species.

“Uh, thanks dude.”

Chloe seems unbothered, smiling brightly at Beca as her excitement of the record store still hasn’t worn off.

“Come on,” she says, tugging on Beca’s sleeve playfully. “I found two records I just _have_ to have.”

 

* * *

 

(Chloe doesn’t bring it up the rest of the day, so neither does Beca.

She keeps thinking about the soft way Chloe kissed her, how kissing Chloe feels like the most natural thing in the world to do.

But Chloe was just being a good friend, and Beca knows it. Chloe cares about her and doesn’t like when people make her uncomfortable.

They just get each other, she supposes.)

 

* * *

 

**iv.**

Beca is running late for work.

Like, so late she thinks she could possibly get fired if she doesn’t get her ass to the recording studio like _now._

She’s shoving a piece of toast down her throat as she pulls on her boots and Chloe is in the kitchen, putting together a travel mug of coffee and lunch because she just _knows_ Beca will somehow forget to take a lunch break later.

Chloe always knows exactly what Beca needs.

Beca yanks her messenger bag off of the floor and throws it onto her shoulders, quickly walking towards their tiny kitchen.

“I’m so screwed,” she murmurs to herself over and over.

“Coffee and lunch,” Chloe announces, facing Beca with a beaming smile as she holds up the filled travel mug in one hand and a paper bag with Beca’s lunch in another.

Beca sighs happily, looking at Chloe. “What would I ever do without you?”

Chloe shrugs. “Be grumpy and starving?”

“Hilarious,” Beca deadpans with a roll of her eyes. “Seriously, thank you.”

“Go, you’re going to be late,” Chloe reminds her.

Beca takes the mug and bag into her own hands. She takes a sip from the mug as soon as it’s in her possession and she doesn’t realize Chloe is leaning in until she turns her head to find Chloe’s lips on her for the briefest of kisses.

It’s nothing major, not like kisses they’ve shared before, but it’s there.

They both blink in surprise when Chloe pulls back, unsure of what just happened.

“Uh,” Beca says.

“I didn’t…” Chloe starts, but shakes her head. “You’re late.”

It snaps Beca out of it immediately, nodding. “Fuck,” she nods. “Bye!”

“Bye!” Chloe echoes, but she’s still somewhat surprised as Beca flies out the door.

Beca knows Chloe was going in for the kiss on her cheek, but for some reason it didn’t feel out of the ordinary for her and Chloe.

She wonders what it’d be like, kissing Chloe just because.

 

* * *

 

(Chloe tries to apologize when she gets home.

Beca laughs awkwardly and tells her it happens sometimes.

They don’t talk about it again after that.

It doesn’t happen again, either.)

 

* * *

 

**v.**

Beca thinks her world is falling apart.

And okay, it may sound dramatic, but nothing’s quite shaken her like watching Chicago Walp sweep Chloe into a passionate kiss right in front of her own eyes.

She can’t quite look away, doesn’t think she could force herself to even if she tries.

It’s only when Theo catches up to her that it finally kicks in.

Her answers are short and uninterested, but he follows her once she’s able to walk away. He’s talking her ear off about working together and she’s trying not to cry at the thought of what she just witnessed when she snaps.

“I just – I need a moment,” she finally says – maybe a bit harsher than intended – and spins to face him.

His eyes widen slightly at her tone, and he immediately throws his hands up in surrender. “I’ll be over with the rest of Khaled’s team,” Theo tells her. “I – alright.”

“Okay,” Beca mumbles, turning her back to her as she feels the tears beginning to spill.

She’s silently sobbing to herself, wondering what on earth she’s done to deserve this personal hell when she hears the soft and sweet sound of her name.

“Beca?”

Beca squeezes her eyes tight, the tears away quickly. She doesn’t turn around. Instead, she swallows back her next sob.

“What’s up, Chlo?”

“Theo said you seemed upset,” Chloe tells her gently.

“He just thinks I’m moody,” Beca tries to joke, but her voice cracks and she silently curses herself.

“Beca, will you look at me?”

“I’m fine Chloe,” Beca tries.

“Becs.”

Beca sighs, knowing the concern in Chloe’s voice is real. She can’t get the image of Chloe swept up in Chicago out of her mind, but she slowly turns to face her best friend.

Chloe’s look of concern only grows when she finally meets Beca’s gaze.

“Beca, what’s wrong?”

Chloe looks at Beca with those bright blue eyes and Beca’s knees go weak.

She’s always had a soft spot for Chloe and those damn eyes. It’s what got her to stop that day at the activities fair. It’s what brought her to auditions. It’s what time and time again had Beca giving in to anything Chloe had to say.

She doesn’t think she can lie to Chloe, not when she’s looking at her with those eyes full of concern.

Beca throws all her concerns out the window.

She reaches out, grabbing Chloe by the front of her leather jacket and tugs her in. The motion catches the redhead off guard. There’s a sound falling out of her mouth, but Beca is quick to swallow it by pulling Chloe’s mouth into hers.

Beca kisses Chloe and tries to tell her everything her words have always failed to.

She feels like – at least for a moment - her whole world is finally falling together. She feels like she’s finally found her home – in fact, every kiss with Chloe kind of feels like home, that excited and comforting buzz back once again.

Just like it always does when she kisses Chloe.

But Beca feels wetness on her cheeks that doesn’t belong to her and before she can question it, Chloe is pulling away in a jerking motion. Beca drops her hands from Chloe’s jacket in surprise, brows furrowing in confusion. She notices the way Chloe’s cheeks have trails of tears and her eyes are shining – and not how they were on stage just moments ago.

Chloe almost looks like she’s been slapped and Beca doesn’t understand it at all.

“Chloe?” she says, surprised she’s even able to find her voice in the midst of her confusion.

“You can’t…” Chloe begins, shaking her head. “This isn’t fair, Beca.”

For some reason, Chloe’s words sting.

“What?”

“You can’t just – do you know how long I’ve – and now I’m – That’s…it’s not just _you_ involved here, you know.”

Chloe sounds a mixture between upset and angry, and Beca can’t understand what she’s done wrong. It’s not the first time they’ve kissed, not by a long shot, but it’s the first time Chloe’s looked so visibly upset with her after and Beca doesn’t understand.

“Chloe,” Beca says again, a little more steady this time. “What are you…What’s going on?”

 _“God_ Beca,” Chloe sighs in exasperation. “Are you really that oblivious?”

When Beca only stares at her, she scoffs.

“I’ve been waiting for you for so long. You were…You were everything to me, Becs. You still are, in a way.”

There are more tears building up in Chloe’s eyes as she speaks. Beca almost reaches out to wipe them away, to be the way they’ve always been, but Chloe’s verbal confessions are keeping her from doing so because somehow, Beca thinks she knows where this is going.

(She can’t quite hear the way her heart is breaking all over again.)

“But you can’t just suddenly realize you want me when I’m finally moving on,” Chloe continues, her voice breaking. “I’ve finally found someone who makes me feel things you did, and I want to move on because being in love with your best friend who has no idea _sucks_ sometimes.”

Chloe lets out a laugh then, broken but still beautiful and Beca feels her own eyes beginning to water once more.

“Chloe, please…”

Beca’s voice is on the edge of a whine, but she can’t find it in her to care all too much. She can feel Chloe slipping from her, slipping from the way they always have been. Chloe bites her lip to hold in a sob and Beca feels her gut drop because she can read the look on Chloe’s face, a curse of knowing Chloe better than the back of her own hand.

 “I can’t move on if you don’t give me the chance,” Chloe tells her. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Beca. You…you’re not an idiot. You’ve known for a while now, haven’t you?”

And Beca can’t lie, not when Chloe’s practically sobbing in front of her, telling her every honest thing she’s ever thought when it comes to her best friend.

She’s known, and maybe Beca’s always had a feeling, but living with Chloe for the past few years, finding a sense of normalcy with her in New York, Beca thought she’d found the feeling of home.

(She’d found it a long time ago.

It had always been Chloe.)

“Chlo…”

Chloe shakes her head, shutting her eyes as more tears fall down her face. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes softly. “I…This isn’t fair to me, Beca. I have to do something for _me_ now. Please, I…I’m sorry.”

Before Beca can even think of a response, Chloe is spinning on her heels and walking away. Beca can’t even find it in her to speak up, to call after her, to get her legs moving.

She just watches Chloe go, her chest aching in a way she’s never felt before.

It’s not until Chloe’s figure disappears completely that a broken and ugly sob escapes Beca’s mouth.

 

* * *

 

(The next morning, when Beca says goodbye to everyone before she continues on her tour with DJ Khaled and his team, nothing looks different to anyone except the two of them.

They hug, Chloe acts like she always has, and Beca pretends she hates it.

Except this time Chloe’s smiles are forced and Beca is trying to act like she isn’t dead inside, especially when Chicago shows up before she goes.)

 

* * *

 

**vi.**

Beca did not want an album release party.

In fact, she specifically told Theo at least three times that she _really_ doesn’t want one.

Theo clearly doesn’t listen. He also takes the liberty of surprising Beca by inviting all of her Bellas to the release party with the information that they will be surprising Beca at the actual party.

So yeah, when Beca walks in and sees a cluster of her friends mixed in with people from her label and a few Los Angeles hot shots, it’s no surprise her mind does a loop.

Her immediately response is, “What the fuck are you doing here?” but there’s a hint of a smile she’s trying to hold back when the girls beginning making her way towards her.

Theo chuckles softly, watching the happiness light up in Beca’s eyes. “Thought you’d like a few special people here to celebrate,” he tells her.

Beca side eyes him, but it doesn’t last for long because Fat Amy is engulfing her in a hug and the rest of the Bellas pile on They’re all talking at the same time, each a variation of “congratulations” or “so good to see you” or just plain “surprise!” and Beca would be annoyed if it was anyone else, but she loves these nerds so she just allows herself to be somewhat suffocated.

Once they all finally pull away, Beca stares at Theo in surprise. “You got them here?”

Theo shrugs. “I sent the invitations and provided a way to get here. It was up to them whether they wanted to make it out here or not.”

“You think we wouldn’t make this work?”

Beca turns to see Aubrey looking at her with a knowing smile on her face. Stacie cocks her eyes next to the blonde in agreement, eyebrows raised at the solo artist.

“We wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

Chloe is on the far end next to Jessica and Ashley, but Beca can hear her clearly over the music and the other people at the party mingling. She smiles at Beca, but there’s a hesitance in her expression that isn’t common for her, not when it comes to Beca Mitchell. Beca knows why, knows that this is still weird for both of them, that they’ve tried but they both know that underneath all the attempts it’s still hard to get back to the Beca and Chloe they used to be.

Despite all of this, Chloe’s bright blue eyes look at Beca with happiness. If Beca’s being honest, she was thinking about inviting Chloe anyway, but had decided against it. Things are still kind of weird, no matter how many times they both tell each other that they’re good, that they’re past it, that they’re still best friends.

(Beca still thinks about the way Chloe walked away eyes a face full of tears.)

Beca’s lips form into a big grin and she finds herself happier than she’s been in a long time as she says, “I love you awesome nerds.”

She’s talking to all of them, but her eyes are on Chloe when she delivers the line. Chloe’s looking at her and only her, and even as the other Bellas laugh and tease Beca for the cheesy yet reoccurring line, Chloe’s smile grows a little bit bigger, a little more comfortable.

It's the same smile that finds Beca later in the night, when Beca’s escaped to a nearby hallway just to get some air, to not be surrounded by more than five people at a time.

“You’re like, a hot shot now.”

Beca’s leaning against the wall when she hears it, lifting her head up to find Chloe hesitant in her approach.

She offers a half-smirk, half-smile, one that Chloe’s seen time and time again. “I wouldn’t call it that,” she replies.

Chloe laughs softly, the sound pulling at Beca’s heart. She remembers a time where she could make that sound come out of Chloe so effortlessly; it makes her hide a smile.

“Always so humble,” Chloe hums playfully, sliding her back against the wall next to Beca. “Seriously Becs, you’re about to release an _album_ and you already have a hit single.”

Beca shakes her head and shrugs, looking down at her shoes. “It’s whatever.”

 Chloe nudges her shoulder gently, forcing Beca to look up at her. “I’m so proud of you.”

There’s nothing but honesty in Chloe’s demeanor. She wears a slightly lopsided smile that Beca’s seen time and time again from Chloe. She saw it when they won their first ICCAs and every win after that. She’s seen it when Chloe came home and told her about passing her Russian Lit final, about landing her first job post-graduation, about applying to vet school.

The smile stirs up all of Beca’s emotions, and she feels something in her chest that reminds her how much she’s missed her best friend since Europe, since...

“Hey,” she says after a beat, clearing her throat just a little. “I’m sorry about…you know, Chicago.”

Chloe’s lips form into a somewhat sad smile and she shrugs, leaning back against the wall with a sigh as she answers, “It’s done and over with. He could see it wasn’t working before I did. And I get it now, I do.”

Beca nods slightly, unsure if she should look at Chloe at this moment or not as she tells Chloe, “I don’t think he knows what he walked out on.”

“I think he did,” Chloe responds, a soft mixture of a chuckle and a scoff falling from her lips as her head tilts back against the wall and she looks at the ceiling.

At the comment, Beca frowns a little, pushing off of the wall and turning towards Chloe. “I’m serious Chlo,” she insists.

Chloe looks down at her, attention solely on Beca and it makes the brunette nervous for a moment, as if she’s forgotten what it’s like to have Chloe’s eyes on her and only her. Chloe’s eyes are wide and ready to soak up anything Beca does in the following moments.

Beca can’t remember the last time they were so close to each other. She can practically see the way Chloe breathes in and out. It makes her body ache for the way she and Chloe always had to be touching back then - holding hands, cuddles, knees pressed together.

“You’re…He was so god damn lucky to have you.”

Beca’s voice is so quiet that she’s afraid it’ll break as she speaks, but she manages to keep it steady and to keep her eyes on Chloe as she says it. Her gaze never falters from her best friend.

She’s missed Chloe in more ways than she can describe. Sure, she could’ve easily tried dating someone after Europe – the opportunity presented itself time and time again – but there would be no point. Beca finally figured out what she wanted, and even if Chloe didn’t want her, she couldn’t see herself wanting anyone else the way she wants Chloe.

They just _fit_ together in a way Beca’s never fit with anyone else. All those dumb jokes their friends made back in the day all make sense now, how they were always the married couple, how Beca would without a doubt drop everything – boyfriend dates included – for Chloe Beale.

Beca knows she might have missed her chance, that Chloe was never going to wait forever, but having Chloe in front of her right now, telling her how Chicago was lucky to have her, is more than Beca thinks she can handle.

At least, that’s what she thinks.

Chloe tilts her head to the side just a little before she’s closing the gap between them, lips pressing against lips for the first time in what feels like forever. Beca feels the air sucked out of her, feels her knees go a little weak as she reaches up to cradle Chloe’s jaw in her hands.

It’s been so long since Beca’s gotten a taste of Chloe’s lips she has to familiarize herself with them again. Their lips move against each other fluidly, carefully, like they don’t want to mess this up this time. Beca feels Chloe’s hands rest comfortably on her waist and resists the urge to tug Chloe in closer, to press up against her.

They kiss for what feels like hours before Beca is slowly pulling herself and her hands away, trying to make sense of the haze that’s entered her brain. She’s almost afraid to open her eyes, afraid to see how Chloe’s looking at her. Beca’s stomach twists, remembering the way Chloe looked at her the last time they kissed.

She sucks it up though and opens her eyes slowly, holding her breath as her eyes focus on Chloe who is still in front of her. Chloe’s impossibly beautiful blue eyes are looking at her softly, as if any other way would be too much for this situation.

“I’m sorry,” Chloe immediately says, licking her lips.

Beca wishes she wouldn’t do that because the sight of it makes her go a little weak all over.

“Don’t be,” she immediately responds, surprised to find her voice so sure of itself.

“Has anyone seen Beca?”

Beca holds in a whine when she recognizes Theo’s voice down the hall. She takes a step back from Chloe, watching the way Chloe’s hands fall awkwardly to her sides when she does so. There’s a question in Chloe’s eyes that Beca thinks she mirrors herself, so many unsaid things between them.

“I think I have to…” she begins, immediately feeling guilty.

Chloe shakes her head and puts on a small smile. “Go,” she says, nodding towards the end of the hallway. “You’re the star of the show, you know.”

There’s a twinkle in Chloe’s eyes as she says it, her pride for Beca shining through. Beca’s heart swells at the way Chloe’s looking at her, at the way Chloe’s smile grows a little bit bigger at the words. She bites her lip hesitantly, reaching out and giving Chloe’s wrist a squeeze.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Chloe echoes quietly.

Beca lets go of Chloe’s wrist and begins her way down the hall before Theo can find her first, but not before throwing a glance back at Chloe. She finds the redhead smiling at her knowingly, slightly lopsided in the adorably way Beca remembers.

 

* * *

 

(Beca is busy entertaining people the rest of the night.

Chloe’s flight leaves the next morning.

It’s not like they have a chance to talk it out, but both of them know: this is different than all the other times.)

 

* * *

 

**vii.**

Beca does something stupid.

Chloe says she has a weekend off and Beca surprises her by buying her a roundtrip plane ticket to Los Angeles.

She knows it’s a big move, knows that there are intention and that she hasn’t thought about much else besides Chloe Beale since the night of her album release party, but Chloe readily accepts and this has to mean _something,_ right?

And the first night is fine, Chloe is so tired she practically passes out right after dinner – Chinese takeout and a Netflix marathon, just like they used to do in New York after college – and Beca’s okay with that. She tugs Chloe to the guest room and puts her in bed before crawling into her own bed. She has trouble sleeping because she knows in her guest room is Chloe Beale, and Chloe always used to sleep pressed up against her, legs everywhere and arms around Beca. Beca’s bed suddenly feels too big for her alone.

She wakes up the next morning to the sound of her cupboards opening and closing in the kitchen. With a soft whine, she pulls herself out of bed and pulls on a pair of sweatpants she finds on the floor before trudging out of the warmth and comfort of her bedroom. When she pads into the kitchen, she hears a triumphant noise coming from the one and only Chloe Beale. Chloe grabs two cups from the cupboard before shutting it and immediately reaching for the Keurig on Beca’s counter top.

She leans against the wall and watches Chloe for a few moments before asking, “Do you live here or something?”

Beca’s voice is scratchy and tired, but she can’t find it in herself to care when Chloe turns around to face her. Chloe’s haphazardly thrown her hair in a bun, tendrils falling to frame her face. There isn’t much of a trace of sleepiness in her eyes this morning, but then again, Beca knows there never is. Chloe’s been a morning person as long as Beca’s known her, and something about the familiarity of this scene before her makes her heart swell.

“Thought I’d make us some coffee,” Chloe explains, offering a small smile. “Good morning, Becs. Did I wake you?”

“Nah,” Beca shakes her head. She doesn’t mind waking up early, not when Chloe’s there to greet her.

Chloe gives her a knowing look, well aware that she probably did wake Beca up, but she doesn’t say anymore on the subject. Instead, she turns her attention back on the Keurig and her task at hand.

Beca just smiles, a new feeling settling into her chest. She can’t quite pinpoint what it is, but she knows it has everything to do with Chloe and the fact she’s _here_ _with_ _Beca_ right now. It has everything to do with the fact Chloe still wakes up before Beca and makes them both coffee in the morning.

As coffee drips into their cups, Chloe spins around with a playful look. “Do you have anything we can make for breakfast or are we living off of coffee the next few hours?”

Beca makes a face at her. “You’re so funny,” she deadpans as she moves around the kitchen. “This may be shocking to you, but I did prepare for having a guest for the weekend, you know.”

Chloe gasped. “You know how to go grocery shopping without me?”

“You’re an ass,” Beca quips, reaching out and landing a soft smack on Chloe’s shoulder.

It elicits a giggle out of Chloe, and Beca doesn’t even bother to hide the pleased grin on her face. It only grows wider when she hears Chloe’s gasp of excitement as she pulls out the chocolate chip pancake mix from the pantry.

Beca gathers the ingredients while Chloe actually does the mixing and baking – Chloe doesn’t trust her after junior year when Beca single-handedly initiated an all-out Bella flour war in their kitchen – but Beca doesn’t mind. She can’t seem to keep her eyes off of Chloe, can’t get enough of her laughter and smiles and bright eyes.

Beca’s sipping the remnants of her coffee when she feels Chloe’s gaze on her. She turns and finds Chloe watching her with a soft smile.

“What?”

Chloe shakes her head, her smile widening just a little. “Nothing.”

“Okay nerd,” Beca deadpans, placing her now empty cup on the counter.

“I’m just…” Chloe speaks up again, biting her lip. “happy I’m here.”

After a pause she adds, “With you.”

Beca tries to ignore the way her heart reacts to Chloe’s words. She tries to focus on Chloe’s insanely blue eyes instead.

(It doesn’t really help.)

“Yeah?”

Beca’s voice is raspier than expected. She feels like she’s out of breath with the way Chloe isn’t looking away from her. Something feels different about this moment. It feels weirdly intimate, like the shower all those years ago. Here, in Beca’s kitchen in Los Angeles, Beca feels like something is falling into place.

“Totes,” Chloe murmurs, moving closer to Beca.

Beca swallows the nerves in her throat. She keeps her breathing steady. Her stomach begins to twist, but this time in anxious excitement.

“Me too,” Beca responds softly, eyes slowly dropping to Chloe’s lips.

Chloe’s eyes mirror her action as she comes to a stop right in front of Beca.

It’s silent for a moment, nothing heard except their soft breaths. The silence and tension ring through Beca loud and clear, and all she can think about is the way Chloe’s lips feel against hers. Beca remembers the last time _she_ kissed Chloe, remembers the way Chloe pulled away from her.

That seems like so long ago now that she thinks about it.

Chloe is right in front of her here and now, and she’s giving Beca that look that shows she’s waiting for Beca’s next move.

So Beca leans up just a little and lets their lips meet in  the most slow and agonizing way. Except Chloe gets a little inpatient and immediately reaches out and tugs at Beca’s t-shirt. Beca melts into Chloe all the  way this time. There is no part of her that holds back. Her hands grip Chloe at the waist tightly as their lips move in a familiar rhythm, as if they’ve done this plenty of times before.

If Beca thinks about it, they kind of have.

Just not like this.

The pancake batter is long forgotten as Beca takes in Chloe, feels the way her tongue moves against hers, remembers the way Chloe’s lips are chapped this morning, how she doesn’t even have chapstick over them yet. Chloe tastes like coffee and _home_ and Beca thinks this is right where they’re supposed to be.

It’s Beca who pulls away first, out of breath with her mind racing. It takes her a moment, taking two breaths before she opens her eyes slowly. She finds Chloe’s eyes peeking out behind low lids, a lopsided smile on her face.

“Hey you,” she says quietly.

“Hi,” Beca says dumbly, well aware of the stupid smile on her face.

She thinks about the first time Chloe kissed her, how Beca had let her walk away. She thinks about the night in France, where Chloe walked away from her again. She thinks about every single kiss and every single time they _didn’t_ talk about it.

This is different.

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” Beca says quietly, resting her forehead against Chloe’s. “And when I did, it was too late.”

Chloe shakes her head, and hand coming up to let her fingers caress down Beca’s cheek to her jaw. “You weren’t,” she insists, hand cupping Beca’s jaw gently. “You’ve always been what I wanted. I just had to remind myself.”

Beca sighs contentedly. “I don’t deserve you.”

Chloe smiles, happy and relaxed in a way Beca’s never quite seen before. “You’re more than I could ever ask for, Becs.”

Beca kisses her again, this time pushing Chloe up against the fridge. A giggle escapes Chloe’s mouth as she wraps her arms around Beca’s neck.

 

* * *

 

(This time, they talk.

They talk about the night at the party Beca's freshman year and that one Bella bonding night.

They talk about every kiss, every tantalizing moment in between, everything that’s led up to this.

Beca fall asleep with Chloe pressed up against her.

This time she knows they won’t push it aside.)


End file.
